Shoot the Bear While It’s Out

My family has a lot of sayings. A lot of pithy one-liners that serve as pick-me-ups, an “atta boy,” or some straightforward advice. Normally, when a piece of Miller family wisdom falls into this last category, that of “advice,” it ends up being less about specific advice, and more of a call to action. This description holds true for the Miller Maxim (tm) on my mind today – Shoot the Bear While it’s Out.

Now, I know what you are thinking, and no, it is not a literal saying; there is no bear (most of the time), despite the fact that much of my family likes to hunt. Instead of intimating that it is time for someone to actually grab their gun and hit the backwoods, this phrase actually refers to doing something when you have the chance, regardless of if it is when you intended to or wanted to do said “something.” My dad has been using this go-to saying for as long as I can remember, though my mom recently claimed that it is actually from her side of the family. Regardless of which parental unit can truthfully lay claim to the phrase, it is a great one, though one that occasionally confuses the shit out of my friends. Which I guess makes sense, seeing as I am not known for my hunting prowess – Big Buck Hunter not withstanding – let alone for hunting big friggin’ members of the Ursidae family.

While it might seem like a pretty simple concept – and, uhh, it is – this phrase seems to come into play often for my friends and me, and perhaps for good reason. Most often the invocation of Shoot involves not only doing something when the opportunity presents itself, but often when one does not necessarily realize that it might be the only opportunity to do it, and thus should not be missed. A good case in point is the upcoming Sabres-Rangers hockey game at MSG. I may possibly, kind of, sort of, have made a bet about one Alex Rodriguez, and the length of his tenure on the New York Yankees. (I took the under.) Since I lost this particular bet – thanks to some untimely intervention by Morgan Stanley execs that should have been, oh I dunno, stopping the sub-prime meltdown or something – I have to acquire a pair of tickets for said Sabres game. Being that Madison Square Garden is in New York, this is not as easy a task as it should be: the game has been sold out for months, meaning the only way to get the tickets is through the scalpers that caused the sell-out in the first place. Oh I’m sorry. Apparently they would like to be known as “ticket brokers.” Whatever the hell you call them, they make it dam expensive to go to any sporting event in the Big Apple, despite the Knicks’ best attempts to drive ticket demand into the ground. But I digress. While looking into overpriced tickets for purchase on the “secondary market,” the victor of said ARod bet graciously offered to let me off the hook for what was quickly becoming a multi-hundred dollar “poor call” on my part. And I considered the offer. But then I thought of the Bear, and decided I had to shoot it. I mean, I have no idea when the next time is that I will have the chance to see the Sabres play at the “world’s most famous arena.” So instead of bitching out, I decided to spend too much money on some sweet 200-level seats. Hell, why not, right?

While this one example of Shooting the Bear While It’s Out may seem a bit extreme, the concept resurfaces time and again in everyday life. Especially at those times when people (including me) bother to think a little bit deeper about what is going on around them, and what choices they are making. Changing plans to meet up with an old friend that you have not seen in months is a good example, even if it is not the most convenient timing ever. So is going to see Jean-Luc Picard as MacBeth, even if you are “theatre-ed out,” or taking two red-eyes flights in three days to make it to your grandma’s 80th birthday in Portland, OR. Not to be too maudlin, but you never know how long Grandma is going to live (note: I’m betting she makes it to a hundred and twenty, for the record), or the next time you are going to get to see the most well known Shakespearian actor of our time do his thing. Or taking a chance on someone you hit it off with, even if the “time is not right,” because hell, this person – or anybody worth while – might not be around for you when you decide the stars are in alignment and the moon is in the seventh sign.

And I think that this is what this phrase ultimately comes down to – the idea that “you never know.” And not in the NY Lottery sense. More in the “if I do not do this now, when will I next have the chance?” sense. And so, when I am chilling at a cabin in the woods, probably in the Adirondacks or some similar northeastern clime, and I see a bear amble by, I go chase it and shoot it. (Hunting permit permitting.) Even if I am comfortably near a roaring fire, with a cute girl on my hip and a bourbon in one hand. Because dammit I want that bear, and nobody knows if it’ll be there for me to hunt when I am good and ready.

Now if only I could figure out how to turn this into actual bear meat for the Grillmaster to cook up this summer. Friggin’ metaphors…